Aren't You Lucky For Knowing Me?18/06/2006 8:59:19 PM
Howdy there boys and girls, it's time for another literary masterpiece from yours truly, The Drew! Don't you feel blessed to be reading this? I'm sure you do. Well those who know me, know i like to have a drink or two sometimes (ok, ok so it's more like a case or two, but that's neither here nor there...) so last night me and my bud Joe decided to kill a few beers. Don't worry their deaths were more or less painless and served a greater purpose. Namely getting me drunk. You should all be as fortunate as those beers were to have gone out of their way to get me drunk. A lesson to be learned here, get me drunk and your life will be more fulfilling and richer for doing so. So as always, we got into the phone or text messaging and hilairty and half-recalled conversations ensued. This, of course, is your obligation, and PRIVELAGE, for knowing me... drunken phone calls at all hours from me, the One and Only DREW. Feel free to express your thanks in form of alcohol, cash donations, or sexual favors (women only on this last one PLEASE!!!). I, being a humble and benevolant god, will graciously accept your offerings. Human sacrifice is not neccessary, but god knows (that's me don't forget) that there are people out there who should not be around to reproduce or use up valuable resources (oxygen, land, food... mmm...cheeseburgers...) and in these cases there is no alternative. It's ok. But check with me first, to make sure said sacrifice qualifies.
As i was saying... So Joe and i ended up talking to some ladies with which a friend of ours (go Sarah, you rock!!!) was partying with and Joe decided to be "the man" (he gets only a little "m" because everyone knows The Drew is the Man dammit!!) and started chattin' it up with the ladies. I must say he did well, all due to learning from me, naturally. Yes, i was quite impressed with his performance, but I, being The Drew and all, of course could not be beat as some young lady passed along her phone # to me. Not bad for just talking (well texting actually) for maybe an hour, huh? And this is why YOU can benefit from knowing (and worshipping) ME, THE DREW.
Well, my friends and followers i'll be heading out now, but never fear little ones, your hero and leader will return.
Yours (if only for an hour at a time), The Drew